My parents just had a fight today. Basically it was the same old story of my dad being unreasonable and my mum trying to pry out answers from him. He even went to the extent of almost laying his hands on my mum. That was super scary but thank god it was a close shave . He didn't beat her up in the end. phew.. don't want to have to have blood on my hands you see... As I mentioned in my earlier posts, my mum went to the law firm to get a DOS and my dad agreed in front of the family and his sister to sign this DOS provided it is only activated when he commits another adultery . There is a clause in the DOS that states so. However, today, he changed his mind and declared that he would never sign the DOS. He even told the family in the face that he doesn;t regret his actions of committing an affair . Furthermore, the reason he commits this affair was because of the family. Amazingly , this is the 3rd time that he committed an adultery and somehow, this is the same reason. I still can remember the day when I was around 2 or 3 years old when I caught my mum in her room sobbing to herself . The reason as I later found out a few years later was because of an affair that my dad committed. That day , I was young. I didn't know what to do. The only thing I could do then was hug her.But that day stays forever in my mind. Today, history repeats itself. I could do something about it now. I went to seek legal advice . I introduced my mum to a lawyer who's my friend's mum . I consoled her , gave her advice and all. But somehow, I always felt that I don't seem to be doing enough . That this problem doesn't seem to be solved no matter what I tried to do. While, I am trying to solve this crisis , inside of me , I really feel helpless. Sometimes, I just want to sit down and cry because no matter how much I try to do , it just doesn't seem to be of any use. Somehow, I am back to the day when I was just a kid trying to figure out how to solve this problem. This fight is just not getting better and it always always make me feel so emotionally vulnerable . I can't tell anyone my sorrows . Imagine just saying , hey my dad just had an affair and i aint feeling too good about it. care to lend me your shoulder? People would think i am insane. I can't just hug anyone and cry because there's no one!! My brother just doesn't care and nobody seems to know what I am going through . I just wanna cry . This episode has caused me to be so insecure ,to be unable to trust. I feel all twisted up inside and I just don't know. When I just can't stand it , I just curl up in a corner of my room and just cry . If this goes on, I swear I am going to go insane from all their quarrels and from all these emotions twisting inside. I can't stand it anymore. I really can't ....