This past months has been rather tough for me. Firstly , I quit my job at ABN AMRO and went off for a community trip. I had a motive for going for this community trip. It was partly to prove to myself that I could do this by myself. Another motive was so that I could get away from the constant quarrels between my parents and do some thinking. And I seriously thought that what I was doing was right. However, when I was there , I knew what true happiness was. For the first time , or maybe the few times in my life , I felt happiness. Secondly, I found out that my dad has a mistress. Before, I knew it , the house erupted into chaos and I was being accused by my dad as being the destroyer of the family . I believe his exact words were, 'it's all your fault! you are the one that broke up the family ! Next time you wonder why you don't have a father , you will know that you are the one who caused all these!' It's stupid really , me being accused as having broken up the family . I felt really stunned really confused for the next few days. Until now, there is still this doubt , this hurt in me that tells me that maybe I am responsible for all the quarrels in the family ... A counsellor that I saw told me that it was definately not my fault but somehow it's so much easier than done. I guess on;y time can heal the wounds. Anyway, found a new job. hated the boss's wife cos it seems to me that she kept picking on me ! This is so stupid! Like I am interested in the boss like that thus she wants to drive me off and stuff... was thinking of quitting but someone changed my mind . I guess I will give myself till december to try it out. Maybe this will work out after all huh?