here's a couple of things that i have to do. 1. STUDY!! I am way way behind! 2. Ask raymond yeo about the SMUN. Shi Ming and I want to go... they have security council this year! 3. get used to being stunned ...cos i guess i will continue to be in the next few days. okie... am done.. so now for the happenings of the recent days. I guess I am quite fine , considering that I have not gone mad over lack of sleep and my sciences. GOD!! What the hell possess me to choose to be a science student??? okie... apologies , I know I ain't supposed to curse and swear but the thing is , i am having difficulties coping with my sciences . ok ... back to the subject. School was really interesting...or rather the events has somehow left me stupedified. let's start from the most interesting thing first. Siva apologised to the class a couple of days ago. She wants us to accept her .yup. She even like sent smses to shiming , yiting , shihui and I, asking if we can be friends and yup all that kind of things. The conclusion was that no one wanted to allow her into our cliques. me? hah. I guess I have forgiven her for whatever happened a long time ago, but I am not willing to accept her as anything more than an accquaintance. sorry to say that , but the thing is that I find her really irritating and I just don't want her to be part of my life. Apologies but I still somewhat considered her as an enemy. so yup... apparantly , she cried and apologised and all in front of the teacher and us. Sigh... spare us that trick. sometimes , i don't even know if it's real or fake. hah. Am i too critical? maybe i am... next up, would be something that i realised today. Shan and I have become distant. I don't know what it is but somehow i feel as if i am not being treated in the capacity of a friend. it seems like when she needs someone to talk to, get something etc etc.. I am the one she comes to. but when i need someone to share my thoughts, to give me advice.... she isn't there and i am left alone to face it myself. Another thing would be 43A , the people or rather the class that i used to hang out with. Somehow, they seems to be ignoring me.... what has happened? I know it's something, but I don't know what it is... i am stunned , kept in the dark and searching for the light.I mean even my friend , aman seems so cold , so distant.... is there a problem somewhere? I know there is, i just don't know. Then, there's Evelyn from that class. Don't ask me why, but I just hate her for staying back every thursday after lecture to ask the teacher so many questions ! Gosh ! 1. I can't really study. 2. I can't EAT in the lecture hall cos the teacher is there! Why can't she ask him during tutorial or after school?? GET A LIFE MAN!! ok, that was just something that i am fustrated at. But, truth to tell, I somehow dislike her.Don't ask me ! It's instincts. I guess it could be something that happened but I hate the way she puts a bag on the next seat when she knows that i am sitting in that row. As if she's afraid that i would sit next to her and ply her with a thousand and one questions. AS IF I CARE! LIKE HELLO , why would i want to sit with a person i dislike? for fun?? But what really makes my school life really fun is in fact my little cliques and of course my 'little brother' aka good friend ,alex. I love my little clique in class .... we get to joke and help each other with work. me with the languages and them with maths.I love my little bro because he somehow never fails to cheer me up everytime i see him even if it 's just something that happened during school . I guess it could be because i appreciate him . yup And my' tuesday and thursday 'clique gives me company and my other friends like vicky , zhonghao and hidir gives me a sense of belonging in the school. it's only when it comes to some lessons that i get awkward. hah. But sometimes loneliness and fustration really gets up to me and I just wish that he was here with me. I miss him . And 'he' as you all know is my secret friend. His identity is for me to know and for you to guess.