"Soledad" by Westlife

If only you could see the tears in the world you left behind
If only you could heal my heart just one more time
Even when I close my eyes
There's an image of your face
And once again I come to realise
You're a loss I can't replace

Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory lives on
Why did you leave me
Soledad

Walking down the streets of Nothingville
Where our love was young and free
Can't believe just what an empty place
It has come to be
I would give my life away
If it could only be the same
Cause I can't still the voice inside of me
That is calling out your name

Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory lives on
Why did you leave me
Soledad

Time will never change the things you told me
After all we're meant to be love will bring us back to you and me
If only you could see

Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory live on
Why did you leave me
Soledad

sigh..... I was supposed to start studying this week but still.... I somehow seem to be procastinating. Sigh.... I guess it's because of the pw and stuff ... but still... that's no excuse... Gotta start working.... My goal... at least for now is to get promoted...haha... can't hope for much. yupz... Anyway, nothing much happened today, except that I sorta embarresed myself infront of the history cohort. Ms loo got me to tell the class about the Islamic talk that I attended ... Nothing much.... to talk about since I missed half an hour of the talk and the talk was full of Chimnology.... It was argh... so difficult to understand. So I told the class at least a part of what I caught... yepz... maybe I didn't embaress myself at all... but I hate talking in front of a whole group of people !! It makes me lose mysenses... Can't believe it, after a week on stage acting , I still get stage fright...argh.....Actually, what i thought the talk was that it causes the Islamic countries to be in a dilemma ; between that of Islam and the values of a nation state. The nation state is selfish , thinking of its own national interests, not caring about others while Islam is community based, transcending all physical boundaries. Thus, it is partly also because of this dilemma that causes the rise of terrorist groups. That was all that i caught from that talk. Went for another talk yesterday. This time it was on Al qaeda and yea... basically on terrorism. The speech was quite interesting, just that I felt that he was quite baised and he didn't really answer the topic. His topic was on that of Al qaeda in retreat or on the march? however , he spoke mainly on the subject of the London bombings. I felt he was quite baised because he kept mentioning about the 3 sucide bombers who went to Pakistan. It was like throughout the whole speech , he kept mentioning 'Pakistan' ,'terrorists' and ' Al qaeda' as if he was indirectly accusing Pakistan of training terrorists. This caused the Pakistani ambassador to stand up and defend the integrity of his country during the Q&A session. The speech was a little confusing as when the speaker mentioned that it was a desire for vengence and retaliation that caused the appearance of sucide bombers. but what Vengence? as in Vengence against who? If it's against the west , shouldn't it be against the USSR and not the US. Because it was the Ussr who occupied Afghanistan for a decade and it was the US who trained rebels like Osama to fight against the USSR. Even so, why did the rebels want to fight against the USSR in the 1st place with the help of the Us and why does it seem as if they turned their backs against the US by suddenly declaring 'jihad' on them? So many questions and yet none answered. Sigh..... Anyway, practically slacked in school today and yep just finished off my methodology. It's terrible..... I hate writing reports .. but that's life ... the good and the bad together. lol. anyway... am off to bed.

I feel fine
Now the rain has gone and the sun has come to shine
Nothing can get me down today
Head over heels
Got my mind made up as I’m driving through the fields
Nothing can get me down again

Catch me if you can
I’ve gotta make a getaway

As the sun goes down, wakin’ up my dreams
And in my mind you’re with me once again
Out of my heart, into your head
And inside my heart there’s a place for you
And in my mind I’m with you once again
Out of my heart, into your head

Chasing the sun
Tryin’ to get away
From the rain that’s gonna come
Hope I make it all the way

I’m lost in a crowd
Tryin’ to find my way
But the rain keeps fallin’ down
Doesn’t matter anyway

Catch me if you can
I’ve gotta make a getaway

As the sun goes down, wakin’ up my dreams
And in my mind you’re with me once again
Out of my heart, into your head
And inside my heart there’s a place for you
And in my mind I’m with you once again
Out of my heart, into your head

Take a look at the sky
Feel the sunshine
In your heart
In your head
In your own time

As the sun goes down, wakin’ up my dreams
And in my mind you’re with me once again
Out of my heart, into your head
And inside my heart there’s a place for you
And in my mind I’m with you once again
Out of my heart, into your head

Out of my heart, into your head
Out of my heart, into your head

Guys !!! I really got to share this happiness with you all!!! Project work is finishing!!!! HA ha... I 'm elated, joyful, excited and all the things you all can think of ... It 's like me in that pic you see... I am smiling but it's like I can't believe it's over ... you know that kind of smile..haha.... So anyway got a meeting this wednesday... I can't believe it.... I am the vice president of the 2nd executive commitee of IJC's drama society.... Unbelievable isn't it? no worries... It still is to me... i mean imagine me? Jacintha Chew , a vice president? man... that's so like a dream. I mean, when I was in MGS , I just sorta rotted my days away ... but here, it's like I get so many opportunities... hah... so yea... am off to bed now. Nite.
P/s I miss my brother and it's only the 1st day...sigh....

Sigh.... This picture depicts my feelings .... Anger, Fustration and a sense of unsatisfaction. But never sadness. Sad to say.... but yah.... well... as you have undoubtedly guessed... something bad really happened to me today. And as usual it's all because of Miss Siva. Argh.... why does it always have to be her? I am sick and tired of having to face this 'problem '. Not only are the teachers complaining that I have a quick temper.... it makes me the'bad guy' in front of others. Once again , guys.... THE VICTIM IS HERE!!!! OPEN YOUR EYES!!!! God, so..what happened today was that Shi Hui called siva out to do a project. What happened was that Siva screamed at her and caused her to cry. So, the class believed that it was because of the conflict i had with her that caused the whole problem. So, they sat down , tried to solve it and so...came up with a proposal.... that we get back as friends...i know they mentioned something about classmates, mutual aquaintance... but seriously... it ain't that simple. I guess they all hoped that we would evetually become good friends again since neither of us don't really belong. But I hate the PRESSURE that they are giving me. Pressure is just so terrible. TERRIBLE TERRIBLE TERRIBLE..... I hate it. yep, so i went back , talked to peg , got lectured and yah.... got depressed. Aman said he starts the week being depressed, well i am ending the week being depressed. Came home, contemplated about it, read history comments and yupz thought sucidal thoughts. Think i need to see a psychologist now , I am being influenced by a particular person. LOL. But, then ... somehow, i think about life, and everything just got better. Talked to BJ and yep , I feel so much better. I know people do not
know the emotional breakdown that i am going through. It's useless to explain. So, i guess....I gotta speak to Mr Ng and see what to i can do with depression....but hah thanks to aman and Bj , i am really feeling much better. Thanks pal.

What Is Life?
by S.T Coleridge

Resembles Life what once was held of Light,Too ample in itself for human sight ?
An absolute Self--an element ungrounded--All, that we see, all colours of all shade
By encroach of darkness made ?--
Is very life by consciousness unbounded ?And all the thoughts, pains, joys of mortal breath,A war-embrace of wrestling Life and Death ?

Yeepee!!! I am 17 today!!! If you guys dunno, it's my birthday today. ha ha. For me, my day wasn't really festive and all.... because I just wanted to keep it quiet and nice. No sense getting people to wish you happy birthday when they don't really care. Really, it's in this society.... people wish others for the sake of wishing. There's absolutely no sincerity in it. Anyway, enough about this. My day was alright until someone sorta came and spoilt it. Anyway, I dunno.... someone approached me to rebuild a long past friendship but I am really afraid cause... yupz it's just that I have been hurt many times in a friendship and I am really too afriad to try it out again. It's not that I don't forgive her or anything. I do. It's just that I can't forget the deep hurt that I felt when she hurt me emotionally and mentally. And don't forget the hurt that I suffered from friendships in the past. I can't forget. And neither can I trust myself fully with others. I feel so confused.. Argh.... Anyway, gotta go sleep... haha...got to print some stuff in school tmr. Nite.